Endorsement: JALAPEñOS

My favorite recipe involving jalapeños is simple:

Two slices of bread
Turkey (not the shit kind sold at Wal Mart)
Cheap American cheese (you can actually replace this with any other kind of cheese. I don't give  a fuck)
Mustard

Mayo

Knife
Plate

Place one slice on top of the plate, add turkey, then squirt some mustard and spread mayo with the knife, then add some cheese, and top it with about three whole jalapeños sliced thickly. Finally, add the other slice. Take big bites, and swallow really fast or if you are a pussy, the roof of your mouth will get scorched.

I know that's kind of a stupid recipe but it's my favorite sandwich. Tastes better than hot dogs and Kobe beef burgers that go for about $20.

Anyway, time to finish watching The Lincoln Lawyer with Matthew McConaghuey. Marisa Tomei is also in it, hope she shows her tits.

HESHER - Fuck the World and Fuck This Movie

I know we are supposed to be digging this movie just because it has some metal in it and because the lead character is played by the kid form 3rd Rock From the Sun, but for reals, I could only stand about the first twenty minutes of it, which by all means were actually pretty funny. It was not that the movie took a turn for the worse, but that it actually didn't go anywhere.

There is this kid, right? He gets shit in school, his dad is played by the goofy flabby guy from The Office and he has a beard because I guess when your family dies, you just stop shaving, because that means you don't give a shit. And then there's his grandma, who is this old bitch that really doesn't count and actually only comes into play in the last part of the movie.

Anyway, he misses his mom because she just died in a car accident. Enter Hesher, a long-haired hippy who prefers shitty tattoes and really, truly doesn't give a shit about anything or anyone. Hesher just hangs around, without a shirt and really just speaks non sense for a good while. Not much happens then. Oh yeah, there is Natalie Portman who is all made up to look like a dorky ugly, and actually the kid is in love with her, but inevitably, it is Hesher who ends up putting his pecker up her bird nest...  Anyway, this movie sucks. Fuck it...it sucks almost as much as the Iron Lamb record, which I am listening to right now, and actually, really fucking sucks. 

BRåKIN BRåK, Stupidest Black Metal Cover EVER

No joke, these ruskies are for real. Because nothing spells grimness, and blackness and evil like a bunch of goofy animals dancing....

Wait a minute, is that a fox playing a violin?

...and how about them squirrels, eh? They are so cute!

SHE IS A DELICATE FLOWER