Thursday, December 2, 2010

Things That Look METAL But Are Not

I was at the supermarket last Tuesday when I saw something that looked metal for a second. I was shopping for mortadella cause that's like the cheapest meat around you can slap on bread and I hear that it is bound to cause you cancer with all the fucking nitrites they put on it (I've been on a suicidal kick ever since I heard that Messiah Marcolin no longer sports a frizzy hairdo) when I noticed this pot bellied forty-year something sporting a black t-shirt with a logo that at a distance read like a metal logo. Inverted crosses and all.

I was wearing these old contact lenses that I was supossed to trash like six months ago. Every time I put them on I feel like I am on a cloud or in one of those college dorms usually inhabited my Phish lovers, because everything looks misty, and fuzzy and slightly distorted and I was looking at the guy through the corner of my eyes. For a few seconds I could have sworned that the logo was some satanic concoction designed by some underground artist who only wears black and is hip to black and white black metal artwork and shit.

Anyway, it turns out the logo has nothing to do with metal. It is actually the Guy Harvey logo, which Wikipedia tells me was a dude that loved fish and shit... If you squint your eyes maybe you will see what I saw.

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