BATMAN 3 Villains Announced (And Boy Do They Ever Suck)

Guess it was bound to happen. Most people don't like Christian Bale's gruff, often difficult to understand Batman voice, but the newer films added a layer of darkness and realism more fitting to the overall world of the comic. With the greatest vision of the Joker, EVER, in The Dark Knight, fans have been eagerly anticipating the next, and supposedly final, installment (2012 at the moment). I heard previously rumors of the director selecting more obscure characters like Scarface, and I was personally hoping for either the Mad Hatter (hard to pull off) or Clayface, the latter being the obvious fucking duh choice for this movie. What do we get? Bane and Catwoman.

Now, Bane is an okay pick, I guess, but let's remember his function. In an effort to increase sales, DC introduced Doomsday, had him "kill" Superman, sold a million comics and pulled themselves out of the drowning pool. So, why not do that with Batman? So they threw in Bane and he broke Batman's back or some shit, I forget. Anyway, the character was basically Doomsday for Batman, was really ripped and got pissed off when he was injected with this chemical, bulking up like the Incredible Hulk. Okay, whatever. He's kind of cool looking, but really just looks like a Mexican wrestler when it comes down to it. With the darker atmosphere they'll probably pull it off pretty well, but it seems like a cop out to me. I can't remember the name of the actor who's playing him, but it won't really matter since the dude wears a mask anyway. They'll probably have a body double for him who actually has a body.

But Catwoman? How many times do we have to fucking see this damn character? She's been a static part of the DC universe since forever, but that doesn't mean we have to keep milking her teets. Give it up, Michelle Pfeiffer killed that role and totally blew it out of the water back in the 90s, there's nothing else to say. When Halle Berry tried it, we all know what happened to that character. She's not really dark, either, I mean, Michelle definitely made her that way, but there's no way you're going to get past her characterization. Not going to happen, and it's certainly not going to happen with Anne Fucking Hathaway.

Hi, Batman, hi Bane, hee hee hee, like where's Meryl Streep since she sort of helped me look like a serious actress? Oh, it's snowing! Really, THIS is who they've picked to be Catwoman? Why? Why in the hell did you do this? I mean, I guess she's attractive, but she definitely does not scream 'crazed lunatic freakonaut' like Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman Returns, especially since she's primarily known for doing fucking shitty romantic comedies. Blinking hell, her breakaway roll was fucking The Princess Diaries for cripes sake. I really don't get this one, hopefully the director gets his head on straight and pulls out Clayface or something because this shit is going to be horrible. At least I have The Thing prequel to look forward to.